There are the days I sit in the rain and listen to the drops. I can hear each by itself, and all of them at once. They each sound distinct- one landing on water, one on dirt, one on cement. The symphony of the raindrops soothes my anxiety. I could sit forever, alone and unmoving,Continue reading “Rain Reset.”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
National Coming Out Day
Here’s my coming out journey, in three acts.
Two Lonely Trees.
My brain is a young little tree, wanting to grow faster and faster and faster! Always putting out new buds, growing new branches, trying to add an entire new branch and a hundred flowers every day. When it’s windy or raining, all my new blossoms and twigs are knocked to the ground. The baby treeContinue reading “Two Lonely Trees.”
Considering gender and sexuality.
So I’m gonna do my best to talk about this without getting into the nitty gritty details of my sex life, but I do want to share my thoughts on the heteronormative standard for homosexual and other-sexual relationships. Before I get into that, I have to talk about my own sexuality. Previously, when I presentedContinue reading “Considering gender and sexuality.”
I’m a Fixer.
Originally posted 2020.02.15 The start of this year was incredibly difficult emotionally. Winter is always tough with my depression/bipolar cycle in a downswing. My emotional low compounded with a drastic increase in work related stress made January and early February a bit rough. One thing I’m working on is continuous self-care, not only when I’mContinue reading “I’m a Fixer.”
Puzzle Pieces.
Originally posted 2020.01.28 I was once putting together two beautiful puzzles; one a handsome little boy who loved playing in the baseball diamond sand, and one a sweet little girl who couldn’t wait to play with her cousins’ barbies. As the puzzles progressed, people started telling me which piece had to go where. I’d findContinue reading “Puzzle Pieces.”
Celebrating Progress.
Something I’ve noticed recently is people thinking in absolutes- don’t praise Biden because his past policies were harmful. Don’t praise Harris because her past actions were harmful. Don’t celebrate the nomination of a trans woman to assistant Secretary because she’s white. Don’t celebrate the most diverse cabinet because they are mostly centrist. Look. I getContinue reading “Celebrating Progress.”
Y’all, I’m ok.
I know some of you have been worried recently. Yes, I’m struggling. I’ve been in a depressive episode deeper than any I’ve had in years. My anxiety has been overwhelming at times. I’ve had several panic attacks recently. I’ve struggled to sleep unless utterly exhausted. There are several factors affecting me, some of which areContinue reading “Y’all, I’m ok.”
When Depression Returns.
It’s sad to see all the signs of my depression come back in full force, to recognize the resurgence of bad habits, to feel the anxiety and stress clawing it’s way up from my gut. It’s heartbreaking to know, if I just slept more, if I went outside more, if I exercised more, if IContinue reading “When Depression Returns.”
Afraid to Love.
I think I’m so afraid of love because I fall in love so easily. I’m afraid to let anyone go. My heart always feels too full, like I’ve crammed too many people in, given too many people the ability to hurt me. I’m thinking about my darling preschoolers. I helped in their class and IContinue reading “Afraid to Love.”
Fiercely Fluid 