I’m a Fixer.

Originally posted 2020.02.15

The start of this year was incredibly difficult emotionally. Winter is always tough with my depression/bipolar cycle in a downswing. My emotional low compounded with a drastic increase in work related stress made January and early February a bit rough.

One thing I’m working on is continuous self-care, not only when I’m feeling my best or feeling my worst. I want self-care to be routine in my life. Part of this means recognizing when to take a step back and knowing how to set boundaries and limits. Often, I take on too much responsibility because I want to do my best to make things better.

In general, I sort people into three categories- creators, maintainers, and fixers. We all have a bit of each in our personality, but often one rings truer than the others.

Creators are the innovators and artists. They have fantastic new ideas and dreams they want to make a reality. They create something new just from an idea in their mind. Once creators finish a creation, they move on to the next big idea. Rarely do they spend time working with something after creation.

Maintainers take an awesome new idea from the creators and make it work. They put in effort to make sure the creation doesn’t crash and burn. Maintainers keep things steady- give them a project and they rise to the occasion. They are the experts in the field- they learn intricate details even the creator might not know.

Fixers take one look at something and see all the ways it can be improved. They aren’t content maintaining a steady state- if something can be better, it should be. Fixers come in and shake things up, change the process, revitalize the idea.

I’m mostly a fixer. I see something and look for ways to improve it. One of my least favorite phrases is, “that’s the way it’s always been.” I love knowing I’ve made something better. I run into issues when I try to do too much, too fast. I see all the fixes at once and try to push them through at the same time.

It’s hard to wait for maintainers to commit to improvements. Maintainers need to be sweet-talked into any modifications. What’s wrong with the old? Why should it change? All I can focus on is a major alteration that will make everything better for everyone. If you would just listen to me— if we could just make this one simple change—!!

I need to work on patience in fixing what I want to fix. I need to work on compassion in understanding the mindset of those who need to carefully analyze every aspect of a change multiple times while collecting copious data and feedback. I need to accept some people just don’t like change and need to be provided extra rationale or support.

It’s tough when something seems so clear to me, but I make almost no headway with others. There are so many things I want to fix- at work, in society, in general. I can’t take it all on. I need to set boundaries to ensure I’m taking care of myself. I can’t give too much of myself into rushing, cajoling, convincing, proving, researching, or whatever else is necessary to affect change.

Patience and self-care are key. I’m in this for the long-haul. I need to work on long term planning. I’ll get there eventually, but… my list of fixes is so very, very long!